Ready! Aim! Fire!

Steady, now, Dems who are rallying behind Bernie. You want the gun to be pointed directly at your foot when you pull the trigger.

Look, it’s not that I think Trump would beat Bernie like a rented mule in November; it’s that I know he would. The MAGAs are already dropping the “commie” label on Bernie per orders from Fear Leader and, like a hundred undocumented housekeepers keeping the hallways sparkling at Mar-a-lago, they’re getting the job done!

To be clear, I’m team Mop in the Corner when it comes to whomever is nominated to run against Trump. So, sure, if Bernie’s the nominee, I’ll vote for him when the roll is called.

But, no, he can’t win.

Democrats are Annie Oakley when it comes to shooting ourselves in the foot. Mistakes? We’ve made a few (thousand), but this time, the stakes are beyond high. In fact, I’d say they’re as high as Medal of Freedom honoree Rush Limbaugh after successfully sending out the maid for more Oxy.

Bernie can’t beat Trump because, how can I put this nicely? OK, I’ll use Bernie’s own description of himself as a democratic socialist. Not because he’s not absolutely right about much of what he says but because DEMOCRATIC SOCIALIST.

Try peddling that lil label at the Midwestern hot-dish competition or whatever it is they do in the rectangular states. Kidding! Some of my favorite states are rectangles.

Clearly, Bernie’s got the “nice young man” vote locked down, but, honestly, how many grandmas of music ministers who never came out will actually show up at the polls?

So, who’s my pick? Amy 2020. She’s tough as a truck stop T-bone and she ranks 5 out of the 100 senators for getting poo done. She knows how to reach across the aisle without pulling back a bloody stump.

I told a friend last week that I was leaning toward Amy Klobuchar and she said: “Isn’t she the one who ate a salad with a comb?”

Yep. So?

And didn’t she leave tardy notes on the desks of staffers who were late for work? So what? Maybe they’ll leave home earlier so they can get that latte and still get to work on time.

Truth: Trump will eat Bernie for breakfast and belch victory. Put down the gun and get it right this time.

Wilmington, North Carolina’s Celia Rivenbark is a NYT-bestselling author and columnist. Visit