For all my friends working traffic enforcement and those who volunteer for DUI checkpoints, this is set to the tune of “We Three Kings.”

More people tend to imbibe during the holiday season. So, for all my friends working traffic enforcement and those who volunteer for DUI checkpoints, this is set to the tune of “We Three Kings.”


We three drunks are leaving the bar,


Heading home, it's not very far,


Wasted, woozy, tipsy, boozy,


Staggering towards our car.


Oh, Oh, car that brought us here tonight,


Car with only one headlight,


We're a mess, we must confess,


But let us all get home all right.


Standing here beside the car door,


Wondering why we puked on the floor,


Stumbling, weaving, self-deceiving,


Driving will be quite a chore.


Oh, Oh, car that brought us here tonight,


Car with only one headlight,


We're a mess, we must confess,


But let us all get home all right.


There's a cop across the street.


He's the man we don't want to meet,


Watching, staring, ever glaring,


He must be working this beat.


Oh, Oh, car that brought us here tonight,


Car with only one headlight,


We're a mess, we must confess,


But let us all get home all right.


Driving home with nothing to fear,


Stopped at a store to pick up some beer,


Car's been spotted, they know we're potted,


Now we all will pay quite dear.


Oh, Oh, car that brought us here tonight,


Car with only one headlight,


We're a mess, we must confess,


And now we see bright, blue lights.


Now we're all sitting in jail,


Can't get out until we raise bail,


Car's impounded, we're surrounded,


A taxi we should have hailed.


Oh, Oh, car that brought us here tonight,


Car that has a big blue light,


License suspended, we're defendants,


We should have seen our plight.


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