Donald Trump has become quite the worldwide diplomat. We needed one. There was no place in the world the U.S. was better off after the Obama, Hillary Clinton and John Kerry era. In fact, Secretary of State John Kerry (who applied James Taylor diplomacy) was so sadly inept that he could not break up a ketchup fight at a Heinz family picnic if he had to.
Enter Donald J. Trump, who brought nations to the bargaining table that were previously running all over us. Last week he even brought home Josh Holt, an American kept in solitary confinement in Venezuela for two years. Trump surprised him at the airport when he landed. Josh saw Trump and thought, "Cool, President Hillary Clinton sent that guy from The Apprentice to welcome me."
Surprising many, Trump even put a woman in charge of the CIA. The thought was that we have tried every form of punishment from "black sites" to waterboarding to break our enemies. Now, with a woman in charge, we can try the silent treatment.
The next Holy Grail for our unlikely world diplomat is North Korea. It is run by 34-year-old ruthless dictator intern/trainee turned "Dear Leader" Kim Jung-Un. Un was thrown into power by his father right before he died. Kim Jung-il must have seen ruthlessness early in the young Un, passing over his two older brothers Kim Jung-Tito and Kim Jung-Jermain to succeed him. (Sorry for long-time readers; that joke never gets old.)
Trump calculates that this young leader, with a bad haircut on par with his own, is a man he can do business with. Un is a billionaire who enjoys cognac and the NBA, snorts cocaine off the rear-ends of his young harem of women, and pops Cialis like mints. Trump reasons: Is there a 34-year-old in the world who has more to lose by dying in a nuclear holocaust than this Un?
For millennials in America, the existential threat of a nuclear war falls on "like, like, really, literally, like" deaf ears. If the mushroom cloud comes, this poorly educated and self-absorbed generation would run outdoors for the first time in months and try to take a selfie with the cloud in the background.
We know North Korea has nukes on missiles that can reach California and Washington State and that, at some point in the future, they will have some that can reach some of our good states, the ones with SEC football teams. We must act before then.
These talks were almost derailed because of comments from Ambassador John Bolton. The hawkish Bolton, whose mustache is loaned out on weekends to Civil War re-enactors, is playing bad cop to Trump’s crazy cop.
As a libertarian, the view I have stated for years now is just to let these isolated military dopes alone. They pin medals on their chests for feats worth less than a Cub Scout merit badge and have technology from a 1980s Radio Shack. Let them keep monkeying around with nuclear weapons in their countries the size of Maine while we sit back and just let Darwinism take its course.
What is bringing North Korea to the table is not nukes. It is, as it always is, economics, and the fact that communism always ends up starving its citizens. Socialism and communism, like Democrat politics in America, only work for those in charge of them.
And Trump’s new "frenemy," Chinese leader Xi Jinping, does not want regime change, which would cause tens of millions of North Korean refugees to stream into China. Remember the first law of illegal immigration: America is the only jerk country that wants to control whom we let in -- never other countries.
The reality is, Kim Jung-Un is scared of Trump. Since Trump took office, North Korean dry cleaners have made customers pay in advance.
If Trump’s shrewd peace plan works, it will kill the left. Nancy Pelosi would rather have all-out nuclear war than see Trump get a Nobel Peace Prize by making the world safer. And the media reacts predictably. Fox News is encouraging his accomplishments in talking to communist North Korea. MSNBC and CNN are covering it as the latest twist in Trump colluding with Russia.
Should Trump meet with North Korea, it is the mainstream media’s sincere hope that Kim Jung-Un is cooperating with Robert Mueller and is wearing a wire.
Ron Hart is a libertarian op-ed humorist and award-winning author. Contact him at Ron@RonaldHart.com or @RonaldHart on Twitter.
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